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Saturday, July 4, 2020

Hey, white folks,

What exactly do you think of when you think "equal rights"? Do you feel that you are giving us, Black people, something that exclusively belongs to you? Do you feel that granting us the courtesy of fair treatment will somehow diminish what you have?

Dangling equity and equality in front of us does not make you superior.  Quite the opposite, it makes you appear weaker and fearful. Are you thinking, "if they can accomplish this much after this many centuries of systemic oppression, what on earth will they achieve if we give them real, unconditional, untethered equality?"

We know this to be true because each and every time our ancestors showed America what the Black men and women could do for ourselves, your ancestors came in and burned it down. Seneca Village, New York in 1857. Wilmington, North Carolina in 1898. East St. Louis, Illinois in 1917. The Red Summer of 1919. Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921. Rosewood, Florida in 1923. The list goes on and on well into the 20th century. Atrocities not covered in your whitewashed history books.

To be clear, when we march for equal rights, we don't want you to give us anything. What we would actually prefer is for your to stop taking things from us.

1. Stop taking away our constitutional rights. Though our ancestors were brought here as immigrants - perhaps even illegal by today's definition - are we not Americans by the constitutional definition? Are we not protected under that same piece of paper? We are expected to stand and "respect" that red, white, and blue piece of fabric, but that seems hypocritical if we aren't also fully protected under that piece of paper.

2. Stop trying to take our dignity by attempting to criminalize our right to protest. We are peaceful until provoked. 

A vast majority of the looting that has taken place in the past weeks has not been instigated by the peaceful protesters. Yet, that is the part you choose to focus on. The false part. Do you think that by likening us to savages or animals our message is less clear, less important? 

3. Stop taking our ideas without properly compensating us. Our culture has always been considered as less than to you until you find a way to make a dollar off of it. Give credit - and monetary compensation - where it is due. We're in the internet age now, it's quite easy to prove when you steal someone's idea or dance.

4. Stop taking our voices and our experiences and trying to minimize them to make yourself feel better. 

No, you didn't personally own slaves. And maybe no one in your family ever owned slaves.  But I am a descendent of slaves, and my life's experiences have been shaped by the people who raised me. People who were, and are, descendents of slaves. People who were poor sharecroppers taken advantage of by plantation owners who were unkind, unfair, and racist. People who were directly affected by wrongful public school integration practices. People who had extremely limited opportunities for housing, jobs, and education based solely on the color of their skin.

Those experiences shape me and my child. Being called a n*gger constantly by racist white kids throughout elementary and junior high school affects me to this day. Because you have not experienced racism, as a white person, does not mean that it does not exist even in 2020.

5. Stop taking jobs that we are "overqualified" for and giving them to your not-at-all qualified relatives and college buddies. Affirmative Action for Black people is a myth! 

With 10 years of experience in my field, a masters degree, and over 10 years of military service, I was passed over for a job in favor of a fresh out of college white male at a company that had zero Black or minority employees. That's happened to me three times that I am aware of due to the fact that I kept in touch with people from those organizations. How many times has it happened that I'm not aware of? Who knows?

6. Stop taking away our right to be protected and served by weaponizing the police against us. 

We are policed enough by the police, by our employers, by the stores we financially support, and now by the self-appointed white militia. If you have a problem with a Black person, try approaching them respectfully - not with an attitude of authority and superiority, because you probably have neither.  And be willing to take responsibility for your own part in the dispute. Again, we are peaceful until provoked. Your fear for your life is unwarranted. You have the police to protect you!

7. Stop taking away our right to express our feelings by negatively labeling us. Why is it that when my white friends aggressively defend their children at school or in public, they are called "Mama Bears," but when I do the same thing, I'm an "angry Black woman"? Is my child not deserving of that same fierce maternal protection?

8. Stop taking our voices by voter suppression. You are clearly afraid of our power at the polls. Ask Roy Moore about that. It also shows when Kentucky makes one polling station available for 600,000 people in a predominantly Black voting district. You are not concerned about the voices of the people unless they echo your own.

9. Stop trying to pit us against each other. There is strength in numbers. That is what you fear the most. 

While white people will never become the minority group in this country, rich, white men are already the minority. And as long as they can convince the poor folk to fight amongst themselves, they can protect their wealth and their power that they surely aren't sharing with you either poor white folks.

One day though, the poor white man will open his eyes and realize that his enemy is not the Black people and other minorities, it's the rich. When that day comes, only then will we be on our way to making this country great. Because from where I'm descended, it's never been great.

Sincerely,
Reasonably Happy Gal

p.s. In the argument over which political party started the KKK, the answer is: It was white people. It's still white people. That's all that really matters. Political parties are also a myth.


Friday, August 18, 2017

Podcast #8: Letting Go and Letting God

After a horrible day in court.  I've had time to rant and rave and just let it go.

Click here for Episode 8

Feel free to leave a comment or question!

Peace and Love

Monday, August 7, 2017

Podcast #7: Co-Parenting with a Manchild

This week will be the most challenging yet.  I hope I don't sound bitter, but when it concerns my child...

Click here for Episode 7


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Podcast #6: Dazed and Confuzzled

Why I've been gone and what (kind of) I've been up to.  Have a listen.  Feel free to leave a comment or question.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Podcast #5: The One Who Got Away

Are there other fish in the sea?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Many of us torture ourselves daydreaming about the "what if's" of a love lost and what could have been.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Courting

divorce, court, debt, assets, custody, lawyer, justice


We went to our first court date last week.  I didn't know what to expect, so it was nothing like I expected.  We were ushered into a tiny room with a man who, I assume, has some sort of legal training and a lady who was the reporter/stenographer.  Are they even called stenographers anymore?

The man was uncomfortable that we are still living in the same house.  It's really the financially responsible thing for us considering my lack of income.  And, STBX is hardly ever there.  So, it works out.

For the sake of my sanity, I've decided to buy him out of "his share" of the house.  He has to be out by July 31st.  The law man says, "you're on the hook for all the bills come August 1st."  I replied, "I've been on the hook financially this entire marriage, that's why I'm getting divorced."  He gave a weak smile, but I'm sure I made him more uncomfortable. 

After going over all of the paperwork, the law guy decided that I should be responsible for half of the debt.  I straight out told him that I was not paying half of credit card debt that was used for trips and other things to make STBX's life more comfortable and pleasurable while I paid for preschool tuition, dental procedures, school fees, etc. for our child all by myself.  STBX, being the martyr that he is, told the man that he was fine to cover the debt - his debt.  Although he tried to make it seem like the debt was a result of taking care of our family.  So, I asked him to account for the $135,000 from the sale of the house in Arizona.  That money certainly wasn't applied to the purchase of the house we currently reside in.  And there has not been that much familial maintenance.  Ever.

The best part of court was that law man doesn't think that it would be fair for STBX to pay all of his own debt and child support.  Yeah, that just happened.  So, when we go back, I'm going to ask the court if I should be the one to suffer while STBX takes monthly international trips and makes payments on his condo that he won't be living in full time.  

I suspect it will cause some sort of turmoil that will result in August 8th not being the first day of the rest of my life.  But I think I'm willing to take that chance.

Although I had hoped it would not come to this, I will be contacting a lawyer; for a consultation at least.  I had hoped to be able to save those thousands of dollars to live off of, but STBX is just not being reasonable.  And I can't wait for karma, I need my justice now.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Podcast #4: Only child and sibling relationships

Today, I talked about the ups and downs of having siblings (from a sibling point of view) and being an only child (from a parent point of view).