Recurring Dreams

Many years ago, I endured two recurring dreams.  They were really more like  nightmares.  

The first dream started right after 9/11.  I was at work when 9/11 happened; I'm sure most people were.  In my dream, armed, masked people came through my office space.  They were screaming for everyone to stay where they were.  I jumped under my desk in hopes of saving my life.  I struggled to control myself from shaking too much or breathing too loudly as I watched a parade of combat boots pass by the space between my desk and the floor.  

After a short time, one of the masked people must have noticed me because he - or she - stopped, bent down, and made eye contact with me.  I could feel my eyes widening.  In my mind, I knew my life was over.  But the person just stood up, yelled "all clear!" and kept moving.  I had that dream several time while I was in the military.  I don't recall ever having it since I've been out of the military.  

I've always taken the meaning of the dream at face value.

The second recurring dream also started while I was in the military.  But it was of a much less dramatic nature.  And, it didn't always end exactly the same.  The dream always started with me in my car - an Oldsmobile Bravada that I loved so much.  I was always going in reverse in the dream.  And my brakes never worked.  Usually, after a tremendous struggle to control my car, I would hit the vehicle behind me.  I remember once or twice I was able to stop before I hit the car behind me.

I've had this dream several times.  Even after I got out of the military.  A therapist told me that the dream meant that I "felt" that I wasn't going forward in my life and that I had no control over any of it.  At the time, I guess that was pretty applicable.

Today, I recalled those dreams because last night, I had the car dream again after so many years of not having it.  While some factors of the original dream have changed, many have remained the same.

Last night, I was in my current vehicle - a truck.  My son was with me.  While driving down the road, the engine just stopped.  I tried to coast over to the shoulder of the road.  Although I couldn't get the truck to start, I was still able to go in reverse.  The shoulder of the road was very narrow, so I kept going in reverse until I felt like I was far enough off the highway to be safe.  

In this dream, there was a puddle behind me.  As I got closer and closer to the puddle, I tried to put on the brakes because I didn't want to get out of the car into the water.  However... the brakes were not working.  And the puddle wasn't actually a puddle, it was a pond.  As the front of the truck tipped upwards, I started to panic.  I had to get my son and myself out before it was too late.

I'm not really sure how I ended up getting out of the truck.  The next thing I remember is me and my son being okay out of the truck surrounded by police.

I'm sure with the current state of my affairs, this newer version of my old dream has the same meaning.  Since I made it through the last bought of this recurring nightmare, I have faith that I'll survive this one as well.

Peace & Love (and sweet dreams)
cas